the sad sad life of mimi.
so be ready.
coz itz gonna be f*ckin' jiwang.
*hahakzZZZ!!!!!
It the first time I'm lying down on my bed, writing this post thru my iPod. My heart didn't stop beating since yestaday. It seems that u're enjoying ur life. It seems that I am not. Its quite the opposite. It have not been good. I haven't got any happening time or a nice outing since dun Noe when.. Can't remember how to smile anymore. It seems so easy to hide everything from everyone, by smiling, joking, trying to be happy, but its so hard to pretend to my own self,coz I'm the only one who noes what I'm really feeling. I'm just living a lifefull of lies, lies to everyone. Maybe u are rite sue, maybe I should stop looking down at myself. Sue says that I haven't change, still persimistic, always looking down on myself. Well way she says tat maybe its balasan, she ask me if I remebered...what the he'll, yes I do remember it so damn clearly miss suhaili, I remember what I did to u, and u are saying what happen to me and how my life is now smuanye is balasan. Yeah I know u still mad at me, the way u said it says it all... I'm sorry sue.. Today I mean the whole day, I was reminded me of u, of wat I did to u, I'm sorry, but I just was so angry at that time, haiz... If only...ni semua balasan Dari tuhan mimi, of ur wrong doings, sooner or later it will happen, too bad urs is now"... why must I drool about that the whole day fuck!!! Maybe she's rite..
I miss her alot rite now.. I'm happy that's she enjoying her life now... Eventhough I always hope she could do it with me... But as long as she's happy no matter wat she do, I'm trilled for her..
see...
I'm lying to myself again...sometime I wish back then, u would tell me more, talked more, known more... I wished u would understand more, why I did all that, why I saved why I worked so much, it was just for a better future....sometimes I wish u were more like sue...sometimes I wish u were her...but sometimes I wish u wernt thinking toouch, wished u wernt confused, wernt frinkled...
I'm not happy with life, not enjoying...
nothing seems to satisfy me...
nothing!!!!
Oh how I wished...
Shafawati I miss u so much...
why must it hurt me so much?
why...
Thursday, May 15, 2008 // 1:06 AM